The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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