Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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