we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
