How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
cat food counts as protein by the way
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
