You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
