My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i now understand why vodka
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
