She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
