my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize