Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She's the barista slut.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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