my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
