Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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