I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
