Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize