dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
