her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
