Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
