6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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