the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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