i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
