I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
