You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
