I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
