so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
