Will you blow on my dice?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
