I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
