Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
