All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
