i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
