Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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