yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
