your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
