i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
