it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
