Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
