from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
