you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize