if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
