**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
