I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
