i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
