So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
