If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
