bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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