Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
