I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
