i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize