the new term for farting is butt boxing.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
