Whats the glycemic index on semen?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
