I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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