I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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