I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
