His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
