you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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