Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
