Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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