Sry I called you an 8
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
