she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
